THE PERSONA'S VIEW

kebosanan tahap cipan~

2012-01-25T00:04:00.000+08:00

Bagi semua homosapiens yang membaca blog aku ni, kalo korang kenal aku, aku memang tak cakap macam ni kat luar. Aku kat luar nampak baik je...tapi suka hati aku la nak post ape.

So, macam title kat atas tu tulis, aku tengah

BOSAN TAHAP CIPAN.

Ceh, dah la headphone ni punya wire dah tak betol. Dengar sebelah kepala je. Nak betolkan, nanti die bengong balik. Biar la aku pekak sebelah telinga je..

So sebenarnya cerita die macam ni...

Aku dah 2 minggu start kerja kat satu pejabat ni kat Selayang. Bawah company imigresen, MSN Consulting sdn bhd. Aku cakap jujur la, first2 tu aku ada la tak puas hati kerja kat situ. Mamat2 indon and bangla yang masok situ, semua kuat merokok. Tiap2 malam dalam pukul 10pm aku kena basuh rambut aku. Yelah, bau busuk sangat...kerja pun dari 10pagi sampai 8 malam. Manelah aku ada masa nak mandi awal2...

Bukan tu je. Weekdays aku dah penuh dengan kerja ni straight dari Isnin sampai Jumaat aku kerja. Hari Sabtu pun aku kerja jugak. Kerja pejabat separuh hari. Kerja ajar tusyen budak2 darjah 5 pulak pukul 3pm sampai 5pm. Worksheets semua sediakan sendiri. Math and English. Hoi...susah woo. Kalau aku kena ajar je takpe. Ni kena tetapkan syllabus lagi? Penat tu bai...

So tulah kerja aku sekarang.

Sibuk sangat3.

Sampai nak belajar drive pun dah takde masa.

Rugi ke aku??

Tak jugak...aku makan gaji ni beb!

Abes tu??

Sebenarnya aku sekarang ni tengah sedih...

Aku rasa KETINGGALAN sangat2...

KENAPA?!?!?!

Senang je jawapan die..

Aku kerja..ok la tu kan??

Tapi orang lain macam dah advance gila dari aku.

Ramai yang dah masuk kolej (INTI, UTP...weh..susah nak masok tu!)..

Ramai yang dah belajar drive..

Ramai penohkan waktu diorang dengan pegi seminar la..talks la..

Ramai dah ade pakwe makwe..

Bukannye aku nak yang last sekali tu, tapi ye la..aku rase ketinggalan sangat.

Bukan tu je..

Aku selama ni punye la prasan aku da tough sangat.

Tapi aku ni sebenarnye still vulnerable lagi...

Aku tak caye la pulak orang macam aku ni..

yang selame ni bagitau budak2 maahad pasal dunie luar,

pon boleh dapat CULTURE SHOCK jugak.

Ahaha...cam lawak je aku ni.

Aku takde la kena yang sampai aku pun ubah jugak tu..

(tapi tak tau lagi kan macamane..baru sebulan aku keluar sekolah..)

tapi aku still hmm...shock la.

1) Aku TAU yang kat luar sane ramai yang dah hilang virginity dia tak kira la laki ke pompuan.Tapi bila aku nampak comment pasal tu je, aku dah SHOCK dah.

2) Aku TAU la orang2 luar sane tak jage batasan pergaulan diorang.Tapi bila ada laki dok dekat dengan aku, stare je aku, aku still SHOCK jugak.

3) Aku TAU la budak2 zaman sekarang ni cakap main lepas je..tak kesah la intimate ke tak.Tapi bile ade orang cakap kat kawan die depan2 aku, 'ko ni gila seks ah', aku still SHOCK jugak.

Meh aku listkan ape yang aku terperanjat sangat...

='tengok tu dik.ada orang tu nama dia Zakar' (ni laki yang cakap kat aku ni!! geli seyh!!)

='ko jangan..kang dia terlebih pandai mati aku'

=A cakap kat C depan2 aku: 'ko ni tengok je B ni macam ni, macam baik je. Tapi dia ni gila seks ah'.

=orang tak solat

=orang yang maki hamun orang lain

=orang yang aku guarantee takkan mess with them sebab aku sendiri dengar dia cakap dia ni bukan jenis yang pemaaf...

Hahaha..aku tak caye dowh aku un still leh terperanjat dengan orang2 zaman sekarang...

Ish3..

Macam ni la kan dunia luar??

Brace myself :/

..................

2012-01-04T00:26:00.000+08:00

I don't get it la....

'I HATE HIGH SCHOOLS'.

or is it...

'I HATE BEING A TEENAGER'???

Kenape bile kite semue masih kecik, hidop ni macam senang je??
Kite pikir bile kite kecik, x banyak masalah..
Iye ke x banyak???
Ke...banyak tapi bagi kite sume senang je nak solve sume..

Kenape ek?!?!?!

Saye x paham la..
Kenape bile jumpe frens skolah rendah dulu...
sume cakap: 'Weh!! Awak x ubah langsung! Same je dr dulu!!!'

YE KE???????

I jumped to one simple conclusion.

I think same je sebab I don't exactly mingle around at school for the past 5 years.
I don't run along with everyone.
I'm not a stand up in my batch.
People don't seem to like my presence, but then they don't USUALLY talk behind my back too (as far as I know)
I'm practically a NO ONE.

So ape kenanye dengan idop aku ni???

Simple.

Since I don't (because I can't) mingle with most people,
I developed a certain attitude towards people.

I always chicken out.
I'm scared to voice out, seeing that people would think bad of me.
I want people to believe in me but in the end, I always let them down because I'm scared.
I basically RUN and not SOLVE my problems.
I tend to look for advice but when there's none, I wont solve anything and just hope that the problem just dies away with time.
I would rather be hurt than hurting people (but in the end, both parties'll hurt).
People around me in high school tend to be selfish. But when I do the same thing towards them, they'll hate me for it. (baka so-called-'friends'...)
I'm scared of confrontations.

And this unwanted attitude became a REAL PERSONALITY of mine.
Damn it.
So what now?
I have split personalities, is it??????
IS IT???????

So..sebab tu la..

Saye x paham...

Kenape org bagi tau yg die sakit hati dengan kite?
Kenape orang depan2 terang-terangan ejek orang lain tp orang lain tu x kesah, die anggap sakat2?
Kenape A dengan B cakap2 pasal rahsie yg die tau C buat pastu kutuk2 kat belakang?
Kenape orang suke pergi mane2 same2?? Kenape diorg senang2 je ade geng?
Macammane boleh ade istilah 'weh, tunggu aku tau!!'...????
Kenape sume ni ade?!?!?!?

Awak cakap la saye suke n paham psychology mcmmane pon, kalau x normal, semue x jd!

Sebab...

Saye kalo sakit hati dengan orang tu, xkn sesekali bagi tau die. Takut die terase...
Kalau orang ejek orang lain, saye marah. Kalau die terase macammane? Sebab kalau saye, mesti saye terase.
Walaupun kawan saye jahat sekali pun, saye xkan sesekali dedahkn rahsie die..
Saye takut n x suke susahkn orang utk tunggu/teman saye sume...Jd saye pun buat2 tough la...
Tapi macemane sekali pun...
result die same jugak...
Saye x boleh pergi mane2 dengan sape2 pon. Sebab saye yg kejar orang sbb xde geng...

Saye x paham la..

Kenape ade 2 jenis manusie kt dunie ni?????

Satu yg mentaliti budak bandar.
-baik, setia, sopan dengan kawan2, pendengar yg baik, kawan dengan semue...
-tapi buruknye bahase diorg kuat mencarut. setiap mase. x kire la ngn kawan2 ke, tgh marah ke, ngn adik beradik ke... 'mencarut' tu bahase normal.

Satu lagi mentaliti budak kampung.
-setie gile2 nak mati dengan geng2 die, suke buat benda2 daring (jakun), bahase sopan
-tapi banyak sgt benda buruk die.
kalau die x amek kite jd geng die, jgn harap die nk borak2 ngn kite. Kalau die tgh marah, segale perkataan mencarut yg even orang bandar x gune, sume die gune.

Last2 ape jadi???

SAYA SEORANG BUDAK YANG MENTALITINYE ORANG BANDAR.

TERSEPIT DEKAT CELAH2 BUDAK KAMPUNG.

X BOLEH SANGAT2 GET ALONG.

PASTU ADE PERSONALITY CHANGE.

LAST2???????

Entah la weh... benci la cam ni.

Kalau saye post ni, guarantee nanti ade orang cakap dah kenape saye x open up dengan orang2 tu, cube berbaik2, cakap segala yg jujur...la..ape la..

Hey. Pikir la weh... Aku hidop macam ni dah 5 tahun. Macam2 care aku dh buat tapi budak2 kampung tu xleh terime jugak. Abes tu nak buat mcmane??? Cube ko jawab?!?!

Mati katak la kau~

Kalo ko nak jawab...jawab la.
Tapi satu je..
Kalo ko jawab jawapan yg selame ni aku cari2..arigato gozaimas sangat2.
Tapi kalo ko jawab jwapan yg aku x minta lgsung dlm mase mo0d aku x elok, jgn harap la aku nk pertimbangkn cadangan kau. Kalau ye pon ko tgh chat ngn aku ke..ape ke..ko jangan timbulkn pasal ni la. Guarantee aku xkn ckp ngn ko dah. Biar aku yg ckap sal ni dulu..baru ko follow.

Kalo ko x paham jugak..
meh aku paste balek maksod ape yg aku pernah post kt wall facebook aku.
'kalo ko tnye pape, pstu aku x jwb2 tu..
paham2 la..aku xnak kecewa kan kau...'

My Taylor's Career Quiz

2011-10-27T22:23:00.000+08:00

Salam.
I just got back from my friend's house. Found a letter in the mailbox with my name on it. Turned out it was from Taylor's College (don't ask me how) and there was a CD in it. Promoting its college/uni....
(mentang2 la abang I masuk college tu, u think I want to jugak ke?????)
but anyhow, there was a career test in it, and since I loooovee doing career-based-personality quizzes, why not???

RESULTS:
Artistic Personality Type Score: 9/10

Description of interest area:
You like to use words, art, music or drama to express yourself, communicate or perform or you like to create or design things

Some key skills:
Expressing artistically or physically, communicating by speaking, in writing and singing, performing, designing, presenting, planning, composing, playing, dancing

Some occupations with practical components:
Art: Artist, Illustrator, Photographer
Music: Composer, Singer, Instrument player, Dancer
Literary: Actor, Reporter, Writer, Editor, Advertiser
Designing: Hairdresser, Fashion designer

Subjects you could study to give you the skills:
English, Social Studies, Music, Drama, Art, Graphic Design, Computing, Business Studies, Languages

Conventional Personality Type Score:5/10

Description of interest area:
You like working indoors and at tasks that involve organizing and being accurate, following procedures,working with data or numbers, planning work and events

Some key skills:
Computing and keyboarding, recording and keeping records, paying attention to detail, meeting and greeting, doing calculations, handling money, organizing, arranging, working independently

Some occupations with practical components:
Accountant, Administration Manager, Actuary, Secretary, Receptionist, Office Worker, Librarian, Bank Clerk, Computer Operator, Stores and Dispatch Clerk

Subjects you could study to give you the skills:
English, Maths, Business Studies, Accounting, Economics, Computing, Text Information Management

2011-09-30T04:51:00.000+08:00

Salam alaik to everyone.

It has been a very2 long time since I posted anything here...for those of you who waited patiently,thank you.

So a lot has been going around this past few months. For instance,
- Ive just finished my SPM trial examination. I couldn't have managed to do well without spot questions. So for those who helped me back then, I thank you guys. You helped me and my comrades a lot.
- So Ive been recently (well mostly) active in karate and watching anime, as in Naruto.
Karate is as the same as usual where usual training isn't really the best method to train me right now. I'm now apparently in charge, or should I say responsible for my juniors. Not just as the President of the Karate Club, but also as the only one Form 5 and black belt member who still continues on coming to classes even when I have a huge exam coming up.
I sometimes even wonder why Im still actively involved in this thing. But who knows, maybe this is what they call as 'cinta buta'. I love karate without any reasons at all.lol.
So...let me give some details on some upcoming karate events that I would love to join:

this Sunday 2/10/2011, a Japanese sensei will be coming to Malaysia. This sensei is my association's founder's teacher. Basically my founder invited him to come visit here, and turns out he would also like to teach students. Only black members are allowed and the place is limited. Though my sensei invited me to come, I still have to overcome the barrier (my mother's worry of my safety, my dad with his tight schedule, unable to send me) just to go to Mantin. Hoping Mardhiah will do an excellent job in doing me a favor. =)
15/10/2011, Saturday. There will be a ribbon-cutting ceremony or something like that at the dojo. Im not really looking forward to this though. =p
20th-23rd of December,an annual camp training will be held at Batu Pahat, Johor. The fee would be RM200 per person, which includes staying for 4 days 3 nights, staying at a nice hotel, and also intensive training plus tournaments there. I can't wait to go.
And also if I confirm my decision on taking 1st Dan there, I would have to take a test (which my sensei had already said that I'm ready), then only I can get 1st Dan plus at least 2 years training from there to get my 2nd Dan. :)

So...not just karate though. Im into Naruto as well since May. I watched each and every episode since he was still a kid and now Im in Naruto Shippuden. Ive even just finished watching Naruto fighting Pain.

Debate..well thats another thing. I dont have the mood to debate these last few months and Im not surprised if I dont want to continue debating in my university years.

But that makes me wonder one thing. I know that I should have made up my mind but I couldnt. I couldnt think of what I want to be in the future. Since I dont want to become a lawyer, Ive been thinking on being a karate instructor. But since my mom turned down the idea more than once, I started to reconsider back whether I want to take law, language (I find English literature fascinating), or psychology. Then last week, she said that after discussing with my dad, I could pursue physical science or whatever that is in university and take sports ie karate then.

For everyone's information, I can become a karate instructor WITHOUT going to university. I just need more time to sharpen my skills and then work.Duh. I don't have to take those things.

Which then makes me question. If I really2 do want to be a karate instructor, and I have to go to university,
1) what course should I take then, besides the physical science?
2) and wouldnt it be a waste of time if I learn 2 things (eg. karate and law) at the same time and turns out I can only choose 1 occupation?

Hmm..think about it. Anyone who has some ideas, please tell me on what to do.

Yours truly,
The girl with no clues on her future,
-raihanafiqah230994-

boredom~

2011-08-06T00:36:00.000+08:00

Im bored.

So lets talk.

Raihan:
'so basically everything in my life is as it is. Went to IDC IIUM the other day and mahiss made it to the octos. same goes to the malay category but the arabic went to quarters.
In my karate life, I accidentally competed in the intraschool tournament.and turns out I got the first place.yay for me!!!
Studying is like hell now. It's not that I dont want. Its just that there's not much time. especially when the Excos call to everyone at 11.30pm to switch off the lights at dorms. How in the world should I study my brains out again?????
Family...well, as usual.
Any comments??'
.....
........
*cricket starts to sing*
..............
'sheesh. All I need is someone to talk to. It seems no one do want to. I'm off'.

And so Raihan signed out her blogger account

-raihanafiqah230994-

IIUM here I come!!!

2011-07-16T00:33:00.000+08:00

hihihi...my parents gave permission for me to go to IIU this year. In return, I have to promise them to NEVER be involved in debate anymore. I agreed.

And so here I am, sitting in front of Ulfah's laptop at 12.30am on Saturday....

Today the matches begin...

Today I will make history for the second time....

Its either to be remembered, or to be embarassed for the rest of my life...

You choose Raihan.

O Allah, please give me the strenght to endure every single challenge that you would give me, give me patience and calm, and help me in making the best of of myself and the Maahad Hamidiah's team.
Amin...

I'm a GROWN UP already!!

2011-07-10T01:03:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting on a rocking chair, with a laptop resting on my lap, writing a post while listening a rock/screaming-like song....

This is NOT me.

Well, maybe the flu's getting to my head.

I feel like sleeping. I feel like stuffing myself with snacks, or make some toast for supper with butter and jam on top of it or even drink honey/milk in the middle of the night. But those things are unavailable here at my house. My dad's a so-called busy and responsible father, who's always busy with work and caring for his sick mother, and not coming back home sometimes for 4 or 5 days, leaving my mom alone to tend to her needs, with all her children at school. Huh...

It seems that everything that I think as a minor problem, turns out to be a huge one. To think that I regret not doing somethings is actually surprising as I don't usually feel sorry or regret on anything.

Is wishing for bad things to happen is considered as a sin, when you always wish for good things to happen and it did not?

Is having someone giving up just for a little while makes people consider that he is a loser, when he always stood strong for the others who in the end, backstabbed him?

Is complaining a bad thing, when you always keep secrets from others just to not want to worry them?

I have tonnes of questions...and all I need is ANSWERS.

All I want is to go to IIU, compete alongside the best debaters in Maahad ever since I was in form3. I fell and stood back up just for the sake of going to iiu during 2010. But not training for almost a year made me unworthy of going. So I trained harder, wishing to beat my bestfriend in KISAS, who at first I helped, and he became the first to judge his own teammates, who then entered another better school and became a leader there. So I held on to that goal, wishing that someday, maahad will eventually beat kisas in debate.

Everytime I want to go to any competitions, regardless whether its debate, or karate, or anything else, my dad would say, NO. My mom was the one who support me in most of the things that I do. And everytime my dad scolds me for not focusing on my studies, I would promise to myself that everything would be over after I participate in iiu 2011. I won't be actively involved in debate, I would forbid myself from going to any karate tournaments.

I got an E for my accounts. Big deal. It's not my fault since the whole class got low marks, and the highest was a C. But since then my mom stopped supporting me, even saying that 'even kalau awak dapat A+ pun, mummy tak kasi'. I was like...'.......???'.

My spirit dropped like..10%.

I asked Arifuddin whether he's going. He said NO.

It dropped 20% more.

Found out that during MUSLEH, the form 4s had a great time, getting a 4 out of 5 wins, and qualifying till the quarters.
It made me feel like I'm some piece of trash. Who in the beginning till the end, made no such change to the team. That I felt like, when I was responsible for the team, no one recognizes us. But when the juniors were on their own, they could be better off without me.

I got into a horrible state of psychology problem, crying and mourning for 3 days.

It dropped 40% more.

One of the people in maahad's team shows some attitude that makes me want to throw some punches.

Dropped 20% more.

I messaged Fakhry, praying that he would at least be disturbed (sorry Fakhry) that I won't be going. Which will at least proove that I'm a somebody. And not just someone who cannot contribute anything to the team.

He called right after I messaged him, thank God.

And just now I asked my dad, whether could I go or not.

A big fat NO.
The remainings of my spirit were crushed into pieces.

'Daddy, saya boleh pergi uia tak?'

And he scolded me for almost 20 minutes in the car on my way back to my house.
Some of it were....
'Kalau ada orang 11A dengan orang 10A 1C, awak pilih yang mana???'
'Awak asyik cakap abang tu ajak, akak ni ajak...if you get shit results, ade diorang nak tolong awak??'
'Debate tu tak boleh bawak awak pi mane2. Awak nanti boleh jadi ape je dengan tu? (then why did you want me to be a professional lawyer and not just a normal karate instructor?!?!)'
'You didn't even improve!'
'Result saya makin ok lah'
'Pfft. Orang tengok 11A+ je skarang ni...awak ada straight As ke?? (then why did you not stop me dari form3 lagi? I got straight As, I can do it again....)

So there you have it. I'm done with fighting for debate. I hate my life.

What's the point in having parents who do not UNDERSTAND you and kept saying that they do?
Parents who do not know you at all??? Seeing that they think I can't be left alone or I won't study so they keep a close eye on me, monitoring and my dad forcing me to study, when from the back of my head, I came home to rest, not to be a non-stop working robot. When they don't know that lately I kept staying up till 2am just to study my brains out. What's the point when they don't S.U.P.P.O.R.T you????

I may look like a kid but I've been through a lot. If they think that I need them in everything I do, they're wrong. I'm independent and I can't wait to finish spm. Then I can find a job, get my first salary and get myself a driving license. They I can run away from everything.

Life is hard...

no...it SUCKS.

-raihanafiqah230994-

umrah~

2011-06-05T07:55:00.001+08:00

I'm going for umrah today...

Doa-doakan lah ye!! :)

two weeks of pure happiness

2011-04-03T00:50:00.000+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, dear friends.

(Okay,okay. Enough being all to calm. I'm here to blurt things out.)

So it has been like what? 3 months since I last posted??? Well, there were times when I really really wanted to, but some other things came up that were unavoidable. So...here I am. Wanting to tell you every single thing that had happened the last 3 full months. Sorry if it'll be a bore for you but I really do feel like telling the whole world about me and if you think that reading this post is a waste of time, then feel free to leave. And don't ask me to tell you what happened the next time we meet. Here goes....

Lets start with first thing that pops in my huge blank head rite now..Intraschool! Well, throughout 13th February till 6th March, I gave up all my best in trying to make it a success. And Alhamdulillah, after all the sleeping in class, not doing my homeworks, tantrums, nightmares (yes, I do experience those) and being all too exhausted, everything went quite well. Being one of the organisers, I remember the ups and downs that we -all the debaters- had. From the morning of the competition (it was during the Maulidur Rasul, so school was out) me, Ulfah and Laila were having our last preparations -Laila and me had to beg every single warden that we saw to drive us up to PKNS just to print out some tags, a whole lot of debater's texts and so on till the closing ceremony where the committee members were doing their job tidying the hall while I watched their slideshow on the programme, which unfortunately was not able to be viewed to the participants due to some technical problems. And as I wept my tears, I realised that even if I love Karate and Debate at the same time, I decided that karate is something that brings excitement. But debate is something that will always bring tears to my life. A special something that only debaters would feel.

So everything went quite well. From being a very very kind-hearted judge, to being someone who soooo wanted perfection (I believe that I got this disease from one of the adjudicators who judged along side me during one of the matches). From not wanting to give comments to the participants, not wanting them to be upset, tp being an outspoken judge (till some of the participants actually said 'kak Raihan tu garang',lol). Overall everything's fine, we just need to think of the prizes and the certificates now, considering that not all people paid their fee.

Now lets write on karate. My God, there was an International karate championship last February. And to tell you the truth, I wasn't expecting to go. Around midnight I was chatting with kak Amal and kak Ain via facebook when they asked me to tag along. After asking my mom (well, she didn't say yes or no) I said that I'll go. Not just that, that night, I felt so happy and so shocked that my hand turned to ice. Kak Ain said I have to replace her in the kata (pertunjukan bunga) competition.

So I seized my oppotunity, said to my dad I'm actually competing, and the next morning went straight to Shah Alam (he even warned me not to compete again...well, I'll still do that no matter what =p). Turns out I couldn't compete...so the only thing that I did was teach kak Ain on how to perform. Had a wonderful time that day.....
..................
............................
....................................
I mean, what more to write about karate? I enjoy watching people perform more than gathering with my friends (sorry guys =p)

So I had a good time with karate, felt myself improve in karate and debate, though my studies are falling apart. No matter, I'll start focusing 80% of my time studying when July starts ;p.

Last two weeks......
Was the best 2 weeks in my life.

As a TEENAGE GIRL, I have some things that I set my mind to. One of the things is...me, well..not having a healthy lifestyle.
Lol. Some of you might think that me thinking this is very very weird, considering that I look normal (yeah, right). I'm not having some psychology problem, since I so don't want to be an aneroxic, believe me. I just want to be..kinda like live a HEALTHIER lifestyle. And so last two weeks kinda made me busier than ever but I enjoyed most of the time.
Well, this is not the main point. Just something that I wish to write. :)
Lets keep this a secret just between you and me okay?

Tuesday (22/3):
Muhammad came to my school and we debated on the second motion for the district levels debate.

THBT Academic Qualification Ensures Success In Life
THBT Teen Social Problems Are Caused By Ineffective Parenting
THBT Sex Education Should Be Taught In Schools
THBT National Services Is Successful In Inculcating Patriotism Amongst Malaysians

Everything went quite well, Muhammad gave nice remarks, eliminating the 'Elimination phase' and all. But after I came back from my Asar prayer, the class was quiet with Muhammad still talking.

Me: Ulfah, kenapa ni?

Ulfah: It's kinda sad. But nobody cried.

(It's sad but nobody cried? I almost let out a chuckle)

Me: Kenapa ni? Apa jadi?

Ulfah: Muhammad's leaving us.

Me: You mean, he's not coming back? Ever? Even to train us?

Ulfah: Yup.

.........................................

(Muhammad keeps on talking)

.........................................

........................................................

Muhammad: So yeah, that's it. Do you guys have any questions.

(Raises my hand)

Me: So...why are you leaving us again?????

..................

...............................

After explaining everything (till 7.30pm, lol) and teaching us a bit of martial arts (Muhammad, please remember that I do want to learn those moves!) we exchange farewells.

Thursday (24/4):

The butterflies. The nervousness. The feeling of cowardice in the gut.

Man, I hate those feelings.

The night before, the girls did solat hajat, Ulfah went to KKQ while me and Ameerah practiced at the mosque. Right after returning back tot he hostel, I made air Yaasin for the whole team for the first time. That night, I don't know how the others slept but I kept on waking up in the middle of the morning. I became the imam for Subuh prayers (Alhamdullillah, thank God for waking me up early), rushed in preparing myself to school and not eating breakfast, rushed to the school's office to settle some documents.And after shaking all the bad feelings, we went to SMK Bandar Baru Bangi aka SMK Jalan 2.

Teacher Hazidah told us that other schools were afraid to see us there (everyone was wearing the prefect's uniform) and that lifted my spirit a little. All of the matches were held at the hall (room 1=) ). The first round was quite hard, considering that we were the government, and up against SMK Jalan 4 (which, they were very very good in confusing & turning out points against us). I even screwed up my opening but thanking everyone first BUT the 'honourable judges'. I was confused when their 3rd speaker stood up until Kimi and Ulfah had to clear my head in order to bring me to my senses, as I was th one who was supposed to make the reply speech.

Concept: 2 is better than 1 (guess where I ot this from? ;p)

having the right mentality + the whole package of skills VS. attitude

But overall, Alhamdulillah we won the first round and won smirks from the other team.The second match was against SMK Kajang Utama. To tell you the truth, I was excited to kill them as the opposition, especially during the reply speech (which the government did not give any stand at all).

Focus on the teenagers: IMMATURE & needs ACCEPTANCE (thanks Muhammad)

Alhamdulillah, we won again. And right after that round, we thought that there would at least be an half an hour break. But the prep time for the next round started right away.For finals, we fought against SMKBBB themselves. I got confused during the debate, and thankfully Arif Hakimi volunteered to do the reply speech.

Waiting for the results was nerve wrecking especially when your opponents were so good in manner (their points were...if I might say..blaargh~). And the winner was.....

the government team.

which was....

smkbbb.

As far-fetched as this may sound, I didn't feel disappointed or shocked. As I did not expect us to win because we didn't perform as well as the matches before. But overall we were happy with the result. And teacher wasn't even dissappointed with us at all. =)

ps: never mind of them winning the english category, they lost to maahad in the malay category. :)

friday (25/3):

Had karate practice.I didn't actually remember what happened.What I do know was that I overexert myself and found myself quite sore.

Saturday (26/3):

Just my luck. Cross country. With sore legs, I actually did quite well this year. I got the 15th place, Alhamdulillah. Finally, my dream of being one of the top20 since form1 is in my grasp. I got a medal and certificate. How wonderful. :)

Monday (28/3):

School's off! (cuti peristiwa).

Wednesday(30/3):

I came to karate practice, still having some kind of back problem since the cross country. So much for exerting myself. After finishing BADAR meeting at 3.00, I rushed back to pray, and change to my karate uniform and straight went to karate without having any lunch.And for the first time, I did not stop and rest even for one minute. Sensei Yip taught me and my friends in Brown 1 some kata (pertunjukan bunga) and then he taught the other level students. Yusra and I helped teaching the others, and after teaching these Brown 1 girls, I went to help teach the other belts for gilrs while Yusra went and teach the boys.After training, I went straight to the canteen to buy myself some drinks. Practicing with an empty stomach was quite exhausting.

Thursday(31/3):

Maahad's malay category debaters went for districts.

Friday(1/4):

SEGAK for P.E. Needed to do exercises for 1 minute. Got full marks (5) for pumping(I did 29 only) and 'ringkuk'(got 44). yay! ;p

Sunday (3/4) current time: 12.33am

Still feeling sore but having a happy and non-regrettable life. :)

PS: Pray for me guys. I'll be competing in public speaking competition this 12/4. :)

Yours truly,
-raihanafiqahmohdrazin230994-

I believe in making myself a better person this year. And I will do anything to achieve that.

the start of another year

2011-01-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum dear readers.

   It has been a long while since I last posted anything. I didn't have any ideas on what to post back then...and now. So..let me just write anything, tak kisah la bahasa melayu ke bahasa inggeris.

  So basically my responsibility as a Form 5 this year is a lot. I have Debate, Karate, Ketua Lujnah Dokumentasi (BADAR), and not to mention being a naqibah too this year. Well, thankfully for now, baru ni je lah. So I actually wanted to resign BADAR, cuz I dont think I could make some time for it (and cuz I'm more concentrated to other stuffs). But after some discussion with my fellow BADARians, they decided to make me a normal AJK and kerja ketua tu kasi dekat Wafa'. Thanks guys! Appreciate it. :)

  Last Thursday, baru je dapat tahu yang teacher Hazidah's gonna be the new debate teacher (along with karate's as well). So, Insya-Allah, I'll be handing surat mohon buat debate every Monday and Wednesday after the holidays. I even thought of making a friendly match with Intergomb (my brother Form 1 baru masuk kat sana) tapi tak tau la proses dia tu. From what I know (I think), I may have to do the paperwork. So, we'll see.

   Oh yeah. Speaking about debate, to anyone who's not participating (whether youre a Hamidian or not, I dont care) in this year's Intraschool Debating Championship, you'll miss all the fun. (ni macam nak promote je ;P) We have great judges who will be judging you guys debate some of what I would call as 'VERY2 EASY' motions. All Hamidians are welcome to participate. Who amongst you guys are talented, will be recruited as a debater (if that's your wish). And we'll be giving certificates and prizes to anyone who deserves it. Insya-Allah, if Allah wills it, this intraschool will go as plan. If not, we'll see how it goes.

   For karate members, I forgot the karate blog, sorry. So I'll be posting here just in case. An INTERNATIONAL tournament will be held this 26-27th of February (Saturday-Sunday BALIK WAJIB!!) at Shah Alam. Anyone who wishes to participate should pay RM50 for entry (If I'm not mistaken) for individual kata and kumite.Any other questions, just text/call sensei or if you're afraid to call him (especially GIRLS) do text/call me. I'll ask sensei for you.
   If you don't know my number, do msg at facebook. I'll reply A.S.A.P. (Insya-Allah).

So..enough of the 'information phase'. Let me tell you other things pulak.

KOKURIKULUM:

Debate:

Situation: I always talk about debate to my mom. She knows how much I care for it. But I never tell anything about it to my dad. Except when asking for permission to go to tournaments. Cuz he doesn't like it when I debate too much. He's afraid that I'll be distracted from my studies...So..one day...

Me: Dad. This year, its my responsibility to iring pelajar2 kalau nak pergi competitions (alasan je).
Dad: So?
Me: Macam ni. I wanna debate. Nak pergi tournaments.
Dad: Selama ni I said 'no', awak nak jugak. So this time, awak nak buat apa suka hati awak lah. But if there's anything wrong - your result's not good, don't blame me. Daddy dah cakap awal2.
Me: (beaming) So basically sekarang daddy kasi saya masuk apa2 pun, asalkan result saya ok??
Daddy: Don't tell me I didn't warn you kalau result tak elok. Kena pandai imbangkan sukan dengan studies la.

Conclusion: Yay! My dad kasi debate! Finally. (I still don't know why he keeps on attacking debate when kadang2 its not debate that's distracting me from my studies).

Ok la. Its almost 1.30 am. I should probably go to sleep. XD

PS: I feel like most of the debaters and karate-ers are a part of my family.
Sayang korang especially Form 4s & Form 3s.

Toodles~

With love,
Raihan Afiqah :)

2010-12-04T02:52:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION PEOPLE!!
I have something to say to certain people. Hmm..how should I start? Lets start with what I'm feeling exactly right at this moments where its actually making me have a stomachache.

GUILT

I'm sorry to a friend of mine, who planned with me on going to the karate grading test together this morning. I'm sorry I mailed to you the syllabus last week but it did not reach you like I planned it to. I'm sorry you have to ask sensei for it when its my responsibility to inform you about it. I'm sorry to make you wait for me to online when I can't for the whole week because of certain complications. I'm sorry for making you frustrated, or most probably angry with me. I'm sorry for not being a good friend. And mostly, I'm sorry for ruining your plans, for being the one who at least have the syllabus in hand, but am not sitting for the test. Im so so sorry.
I'm sorry to my debate team. I can't go to any debate tainings this holiday. I cant get any consent from both of my parents. But, if God wills it, Insya-Allah I'll try to get away from their clutches.

....

2010-11-28T03:13:00.001+08:00

thank you to Arifuddin for reminding me to post something on my blog, and to Muhammad for asking me a few questions which I expect he wants to know what the answers are, but I couldnt answer him. Sorry.
So...
A lot has been going on in my head. Some of it from last year. And some from this year. Well, i dont tell this to people. i NEVER spill anything inside my head, which as maybe most of you could guess is about debate, to people. maybe im being paranoid. nah, im juts being cautious. maybe i need to learn to trust people. after how they treated me? no thank you. maybe i just need to be NORMAL (whatever that is) and relax for a bit. but 'normal' is never in me. Sheeeesh, just get over it, Raihan.
Well, i stand here (im actually sitting but you get the idea), not knowing what to do, not wanting to tell you everything but just a little bit of...anything. lets just say, im spilling to you just as much as when you take a sip of really hot water from a large cup.
my head keeps spinning on the same problem(s).
it seems impossible to relive memories, to do incredibly hard tasks like others, to live to people's expectations, to know what to do everytime...

maybe im still haunted by the past. maybe i need time to think. maybe im being paranoid. Raihan, stop with all the 'maybe's, you are PARANOID.
maybe i should change the way i think. the way i view the world.
maybe i should just be simple, and not trying so hard to compete with myself. or with anyone else.
maybe i should just be like everyone else.
wait. this is me. i cant change my own personality. i just need to embrace it and bear it.
and look where this gets me. im clueless...

nak balik!!

2010-11-11T22:15:00.000+08:00

Rase macam ape je skarang. Cube bayangkan, hari ni skolah cm biase. Ttibe ade lah dengar suare ustaz Jamal, cakap yg plaja asrama kne balek dorm kol 8.30 kemas dorm utk budak2 nadwah tu. So around, before 9am, balik lah. Tu pon dah planning dah nak kemas sikit2 je, kemas sume barang petang ni. Around 10.30 gi skolah balik sebab nak kne hanta buku spbt. Penat oh kne jalan ke sane ke mari. Lepas tu kne stay back kat skolah sebab ade jamuan badar kol 12.30. After that baru lah balik asrama.
   Ttibe, smpai dorm je bdak from 2 ckap,'kak Raihan, pakai tudung lah.Ade budak putre kt asrama. Ustaz Jamal pon ade akakDie tengah cek dorm'. 'Dorm PUTERI??' 'iye'. I slumped on the floor. 'Penatlah!'. Pastu ingat nak rehat2 kejap, x nak packg barang lagi, ttibe dgr lah announcement ustaz Zul sroh kemas cepat2. Ape lg, kelang kabut lah. Cube bayangkn, dh lah x packing lagi, pstu kene bawak balik sume barang lak tu! Ish, geram3! Pastu nak kene gi ampaian nye lagi amek baju2 yg kne sidai tu, and gi dorm yg kte kne tumpang spanjang 2 minggu aras kite xde elektrik! Pastu ttibe dengar announcement, kate dlm kiraan 10, exco tolong kunci grill tangge. AHHHH!!!!
   Thank God ade lah 2 bdak form2 and sorang form 1 nak tolong. Baik btollah diorg nih. Memang dah lah x abes packing lg, ish. Pastu bile kite dah abes bawak turun SEMUA barang, exco x kunci pon grill!!! Bengang nye! So dok lah merempat kt bilik tetamu smbil makan mkanan jamuan tu...
   Stengah jam pastu, gi karate. Sampai je kt dewan, tunggu dlm 10 minit. Mind you, dah penat sangat ni so dh hampir trtidor dh kat situ, ttibe Athi datang. Then 2 bas datang, bawak bdak2 SMKA shams tu. Ape lagi? Dengan dewan yg tgh digunakan, budak karate yg x datang, ktorang pon call lah sensei batalkan training....
   Pastu, setelah sekian lame mnunggu, kol 8.10 malam, orang terakhir yg patot balik ari ni pon balik. Tu tak cukop lagi. Kite penat, ngantok, ttibe my dad cakap ade meeting kat damansara and x sempat nak hantr balik so kne gi skali meeting tu. Kite baru je plan nak rehat2 kat rumah. Xpelah ikot je lah.
   Wahai kawan2, cube bayangkan, kite penat sangat2, tengah sakit kepale skang and mmg skarang rse loya tekak ni. Dengan x makan dr tengah hari, x rehat2 lagi. TAK BALIK RUMAH LAGI!

Penat la...penat.
Ni pon tengah menumpang kt ofis uncle mane entah yg my dad kenal. Guess what, dok dlm ofis die yg ber-aircond tapi dikunci dari luar. hiish...

listening to the radio~

2010-10-24T01:50:00.000+08:00

     Hi people. Its been a long while since I last posted anything. Sorry guys. I've no ideas on what to write. The same thing goes right at this moment.
So...let me just post unnecessary things here...to keep this blog updated.
- Im sitting on my bed eating chocolate at 1.30am in the morning
- I got 3 books for my birthday; Harry Potter 6 (thanks Azzira), Life, Love and Pursuit of Free Throws (Mas) and What the Dod Saw (love ya sis Wanie)
- I love watching FairyTail at Animax
- I have the whole set of Hunger Games books (Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Mockingjay)
- I hate Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber gets annoying more and more everyday
- I wish to continue my karate till I become a karate instructor (I think)
- After SPM, I wish to go and get myself a job. My salary will be spend on
     1) my very own first cellphone
     2) my driving license
- i dont have a crush on anyone. well, mainly like someone not based on his looks (yes girls) but his attitude.
- i love cmpetition and i despise losing
- like playing GTA and sims3 at the same time.
- i enjoy sitting on a stool, reading a book, while fishing. mind you, Im a really really good fisher'girl'.
- I miss 11U 2009, national karate tournament 2010
- as a girl with all boys as my siblings, I can be very egoistic sometimes. But if I back away, then you should feel special. Because I do that only because I don't want to lose you.

So, that's all for now. Bye2 net. Hello bed! ;P

resah~gelisah~

2010-09-07T22:59:00.000+08:00

Saya tak sihat jadi saya mohon kesihatan.
Saya tak berapa pandai jadi saya doa supaya jadi pandai.
Saya selalu kurang berjaya jadi saya doa supaya saya lebih berjaya.
Saya takut dekat benda2 yang tak patut ditakuti jadi saya doa supaya benda tu pergi jauh2, tinggalkan saya, biar saya tak takut lagi dah.
Saya seorang yang tidak tetap pendirian jadi saya doa supaya Allah tolong saya dalam tetapkan pendirian saya.
Dan bayak lagi yang saya minta.

Tapi...tak semua benda yang saya pinta saya dapat.
Kadang2 saya tak tahu dah nak buat apa sebab fikiran dah buntu. dah mati akal.

Jadi saya pilih satu jalan penyelesaian. Terima semua benda seadanya. Kalau saya masih tak berpuas hati, nak buat macamana? Kena terima jelah. Buang ketidakpuashatian tu jauh2. Ambil satu nafas yang panjang dan jerit kuat2 dekat die : " 'ketidakpuashatian', tolong pergi jauh2. JANGAN ganggu saya lagi!".

Barulah hidup kita boleh aman....

Alhamdulillah

2010-08-27T18:40:00.000+08:00

I am emotional. I get it. But why am I not sensitive??

I feel like crying. I really do. But why do my tears keep holding back?

I'M HAPPY. Oh yes, I am.

Thank you Allah. Thank you for giving me back my spirit. Thank you for making people understand my current situation. Thank you for guiding me all this while. Thank you for everything.

Now I do believe that... dreams do come true.

And now it's my time to commit to it with every amount of energy that I have.

Alhamdulillah....

2010-08-22T02:49:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Lets start with a sigh...*sighs*. And a serious face. *stops grinning and got to serious mood*

   I find this world a challenging place. A place where everything that you predict won't necessarily be true. A place where you sometimes can't be yourself because of living in a community; which means we have to watch out for other people's feelings as well. A place where you need to accept most of the things that happens to you or to other people that you're not really fond of. Somewhere where you can't run from everything but you have to face it. A place where you live and you can't totally count on anyone to help you because in the end its mainly about you. A place where sometimes lying to yourself may be the best solution there is. Or is it?

   Alhamdulillah to Allah the Almighty for giving me the chance to post something again tonight. Without me knowing, maybe this is the best solution that I should take since I've been restless these last few days. Or maybe not. Maybe posting this is a total waste of time. I should just tell someone and get over it. But no. I want people to know. Apart from revealing my secrets, I may offend some parts tonight. But hopefully, I won't. Because this is just something that I feel. Something that I need to tell to someone which is supposed to be my best friend. But as I've said on the last post, I don't have one.So I hope by this post, I'll eventually forget this.

   I've been wondering for some time. How many declared families do I have? I would say two. One is my real family. But lets not talk about this. Lets talk about the other one. The other one is supposed to be my debate family. But these last few weeks, I've been feeling like I have another family. An undeclared one. I feel like I really do belong there and not in this debate family.

   I mean, I'm not saying that I'm giving up on debate because currently (yeah, currently. I've once thought of giving up last year) that's the last thing thats inside my head. But right now, its not me who's giving up on debate. It's some of the others. I mean, I hate to talk behind people's backs but when I need to, I'll do it. Lets take kisas for example. Have anyone thought why I hate kisas so much? (sorry Arif if you're reading this post) Let me tell you why. Because I envy them. I envy them so much that I hate them for being too good. I envy them. They have a lot, and I mean, A LOT of people entering debate. Guess what hamidians? From what I know, most of them are newbies. They started to debate when they got to that school during form 4. But how can they be soooo damn good when they've only started to debate when you guys actually started when you're in form 1? form 2?

   I admit, I'm not that good. I'm never gonna be like sister Nafeesa, or Wani or brother Fakhry. But have you ever heard that leaders or holistic people or whatever you call them are NOT BORN but MADE? It means that you need to be committed and not just throw away all those opportunities in front of you. Tournaments? Trainings? Meetings? I'm on. Well what about the others who doesn't have any excuses to not come to practices and so on? Have you ever heard that you have to keep trying even if you actually lose for the hundredth time? You shouldn't give up. Maybe you're tired of debate. But help the others who wants to come, who wants to be committed by coming even if you don't feel like it. I'm sorry to say this. But DON'T MAKE THEM CHANGE into being someone like you.

   This is from my point of view. Do you know why we lost during this year's IIU? or HELP debate? Why and how did kisas win? How on Earth could sais actually won in MUSLEH? The answer is simple. Because they are committed. They join debate because they love debate. Now ask yourselves. Why did you join debate in the first place? Have you achieved your first goal? If no, why are you stopping? If yes, are you quitting now? Wouldn't it be better if you make some other goal? Why stop yourself when you could at least learn how to expand your talent? From my two eyeballs and two lenses, do all of you know what I saw? Last year, Fakhry was our leader. Someone who never gave up on us. He told us that we were next in line for any trophies in any tournaments. He wasn't lying. We were great. But what happened this year? Sis Wani and Fakhry did everything. They came to train you guys and once, not one of you show up. Why are you so crushed when our school didn't went to breaks when the reason is right in front of you?

   I knew one thing. During IIU, some (or maybe all, I don't know) of the participating debaters from kisas didn't go for their T&L / P&P for one whole week. And sais? They came and learned from Fakhry, our very own brother who once went to finals, from our ex-hamidian Muhammad who is so well-known in his school. From our sister Nafeesa who is the best debater that I knew so far. Guess what guys. They came for you. You didn't. They cracked their heads to help you solve your problems without you knowing when the real problem is not how to help you but what to do to wake you up, to see what is actually happening.

   For me, a family is a group of people who do the things that they like together as one. Committed people debating as a team. Hah...why am I so nice? Wanna know something guys? I consider committed people, people who debate their hearts out as my family. So the truth is, I don't consider the ones who don't do these as my family. So here's the big question. Should I lie to myself again for the hundredth time, saying that one day, you'll come back to debate with us? Or should I just give up like the others?

Remember this. Debate is fun when you think its fun. Why do you think it is fun is the question that you need to answer yourself. But when you found the answer, please tell me. Please. I need to know so that I won't cast away my hopes and dreams connected to you. So that I won't give up on debate as you guys. When you know why it is fun,they set your goal and come to trainings as usual without making the same mistakes. We need you as a team. I need you.

And one more thing. The family that I feel overly connected to right now, is my karate team. You'll know why. I always talk about karate daily. Maybe they think that I'm obsessed with karate like I was once in debate but so what? Karate is currently my passion and if they don't have any, that's their problem. I live to enjoy my life as I like.

PS: Hope everyone, and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE of the DEBATERS at maahad could come to training this Tuesday. No. Every Tuesdays. Not all hope is lost. Fakhry's busy. Sis Wani can't come because of some complications but Muhammad's here. So make use of your time and of his time by coming.

My karate Family...

dear diary,

2010-08-08T02:40:00.000+08:00

ok this time, im making an unpredictable post. But before i start anything, I'd like to ask everyone one simple question thats always bothers me.

AM I WEIRD?

Because it seems like I'm actually different from most people. Maybe its in my gene. My dad's kinda different. But my mom's kinda normal. My brother Rasyad has the same issue as me but the difference is that he doesn't think of it as a problem. Girls. Huh.. complicated. I've always wanted to mingle well with other people. I want to be apart of them you know. A part of the crowd. Sometimes, (well, most of the time especially this year) I LOOK normal, I look like I don't care whats happening, I look as if I enjoy being different sometimes. Well..sometimes I do. But most of the time, I used to wonder what made me different? I know that everyone's different in their own way. But this is much more...

This post might sound stupid for some people. It might even sound childish. But what difference does it make? I'm typing on a laptop telling the world my problems so that people will understand, people will take action and not leave others like me behind. I want them to se that these sort of people like me want to be noticed, its just that they dont know how.e I want justice in this world. I don't want to avenge for my part, I just want people to care for the others. But a normal person, would pour their hearts out to their bestfriends. They would tell their friends their problems and hope to get a solution. I just need the world to understand our situation. MY SITUATION.

Let me list it down so that people can see who I REALLY AM.

1. I don't get people who make choices according to their emotions.

I mean, I was someone like this, once. But this year changed everything. Some people may not recognise me like they used to. I don't really show my emotions when around people. One of my friends even told me once that I always look dead serious. Ouch. But, that's the truth. I mean, for me its better than not being serious at all. I dont like seeing people not being serious, playing around when they're actually supposed to.

2. I don't get people who talk behind other people's backs.

Okay this might sound weird. People often see a corrilation between girls and gossips etc. But actually, I hate hearing or even seeing people talk behind their friend's backs. I mean, if its a good thing, then continue on. But if they're talking bout bad stuff, I sometimes feel like punching them in the face or pound them till they stop doing it, so that they know how hurtful it is if you talk badly of someone. I hate BACKSTABBERS. I mean, I didn't say that I don't do it but I rarely do it. And everytime I started to talk bout someone badly, I'll try to rivert back to some other beneficial topic.

3. I don't get people who tell others everything.

Don't get me wrong. Its good to spill everything to your bestfriends or whoever you want. Its just that sometimes there are things that you are supposed to keep it as a secret, rite? Anyway, maybe some of you think that me telling this is very2 weird and irrasional especially when I'm in the absence of a best friend myself, but I still don't get it. I mean, sometimes, its not our emotions that we need to check upon but others. Like for example when you brag on something at someone you trust, she may smile and laugh or do anything decet and polite in front of you. But deep inside, we don't know how she feels. Another example. If I QUIETLY ask someone to take a position ie be the MC for a certain tournament, and that person doesn't want that position, she should at least stay put, say 'no, thank you' and leave. She shouldn't say I DON'T KNOW and call every one of her best friends and offer them those positions. I mean, there must be a reason why I called her and not her bffs. And its because I knew she could do it. I knew the others are not as good as her. I knew that asking randomly at everyone will eventually make at least someone to feel upset as they don't get the part. I knew that at that time, I'm to blamed. There's always a reason. And I have tonnes. So, why won't they understand?

4. I don't get people who don't respect others.

Respect. This is something that you have to earn by working hard. Some people just don't know how to respect others. I don't get it. I really really don't. I mean, whether that person is a Head Prefect till a plain someone, others should still respect them. Respect their feelings. There must be a reason why they feel anything at the time. Respect their decisions. They have their own reasons whether we know it or not. Respect their privacy. There's always a reason why he/she doesn't want to share anything. Respect in everything they do. We can never stop them from doing what they want to do because thats not respectful. But we can advise them in every way we could. Because that's the only way to still remain a good relationship with him/her. The only way to avoid both sides from getting upset. The only way to gain more respect.

5. I don't get people who .............

Hah. I'm tired. Maybe I'll continue this post next time. Someday I guess.

missing home~

2010-08-07T01:15:00.000+08:00

Finally, home sweet home.

     I'm sitting on the carpeted floor, leaning on the couch with the tv turned on in front of me. Its a really chily night at my place (duh, im rolling up my sleeve). The window's slightly opened, waiting for me to close it once I'm ready to climb up to bed. Rusyaidi's here, still awake I think, watching wrestling (sometimes I wonder why people like to watch these sort of tv shows).

     I miss my home. REALLY MISSED IT. I miss relaxing here. No homeworks to finish before the very next day. No problems to solve. No errands to do. No classes. No karate. No debate. NOTHING. Oh how I miss doing nothing and not being 'me' for a while. Something that I've been craving for the last 3 weeks. Well, my friend was right. It has been a while since I really took a day off.

     I still remember the last time I went back. 4/7/2010. The following week after that, I was supposed to go back because there's this BADAR camp the following week. But, I got my karate grading test on 11th July. The following week, when everyone went back, I went for the BADAR camp (16-18th July). It was okay. The next week, all the form 4s were supposed to go back home but I didn't. There was this National Karate Tournament at Ipoh(23-25th July). Then the next following week, a 'kem bina insan' was held for the form 4 students making it a must for all of the form 4 students to participate. Now this was on the 30th-1st August. Supposedly, the closing ceremony for the Serikandi will be held this Sunday so I shouldn't come back home. But, what can I say.. being homesick is something that I can never uphold for long. And besides, rules ARE made to be broken. Because, if I don't come home this week, I'll come back the next 2 weeks! Why? Because next week, there'll be the IIU BP. Huh...

4/7 - balik wajib
11/7 - grading test
16-18/7 - kem badar
23-25/7 - pertandingan karate
30-1/8 - kem bina insan
6-8/8 - serikandi (balik. balik. BALIK!!!)
13-15/8 - IIU BP
16-20/8 - periksa formatif 2
20-22/8 - balik wajib...

no.1: I wish I could do well in the iiu bp. i hope i would not disappoint / embarass myself. raihan, enjoy your time there, while you can.
no.2: even if the exam's right after iiu bp, you can do it. usaha and tawakal. ask. believe. receive.
no.3: I wish I could turn back time and undo what I've done.

...................(tires. needs rest) -raihan-

Maahad here I come!!

2010-06-19T17:34:00.000+08:00

Okay. Im going back to my hostel tomorrow around 12. If not, probably before zohor prayer.

Monday: I got a message from sis Wani which was from Muhammad (but she says from Fakhry, i dont know) saying bout the KDU debate. I got all the necessary forms after asking it from this Siron guy.
Tuesday: Some complications in printing the forms. I received it when using the laptop. Need to print it using my moms printer which is connected to her computer upstairs. Has no Windows 2007.
Wednesday: Got all of it printed. Asked everyone bout the saturday and the sunday practices.
Thursday: Waiting~
Friday: Change of plans. Training on Sunday after zohor. Still waiting for people to confirm.
Saturday: Huh..I have a flu. Hoping to be healthy before training. Still waiting!!
Sunday: Off to maahad!!

Stomachache

2010-06-16T18:52:00.000+08:00

Pain. That was the only thing that I felt. I lost my appetite during lunch because of it. I was just a stomachache but this time the pain doubles without me knowing why. Yeah I went to the toilet, put some minyak angin and its still the same. Not even the slightest change. After lunch I watched tv. I sat, I lay down. I even tried to really really focus on something else which is watching Discovery Channel (I dont remember what programme it was) and for a while it worked. My pain lessened. But when that programme ended, when I dont know what to watch anymore, the pain somehow came back. Stayed there. Doubles itself again.
I decided to sleep. Maybe its the best solution there is considering that I always solve complicated problems especially the emotional ones with taking a nap. So I leaned my back on the couch and took a pillow in my arms. I could easily sleep anytime anywhere. Even when just now my cousins who are 13 and 10 who came from Kulim, Kedah were watching tv with the volume so loud, I could still sleep.
I woke up hearing somebody's voice singing and looked at the tv. Akademi Fantasia. No wonder. My cousins don't have Astro at home and they like watching this kind of Malaysian reality tv show. I sat down. Finally the pain subsided. Well most of it. The my they asked me to accompany them to the pool. Hmm.. tomorrow we're going to the Desa Waterpark and they still want to go there today? Well the babysitting past must still go on. Rasyad my big brother won't do his part. So, I declined nicely ;P (hah, I still had the slightest pain) and I followed them to the front gate with my eyes.....

Hmm..nak sambung ape eh? Entah lah. Anywy, if I'm free, I'll write bout the Desa Waterpark thing.

Jumaat prayer

2010-06-11T13:20:00.000+08:00

I don't get it. I'm sitting on a couch at home with my dad's laptop in front of me. I'm alone right now. My parents off to work, my brothers went for Jumaat prayer. Then, a thought hits me. How can school kids enjoy holidays? WHY? I certainly don't. It's damn boring. I don't have homeworks (*sighs* I'm starting to miss school), debate trainings, any musyawwarah going on for me or even tuition classes. I can just read books at home but now I've finished reading all my books. I can't really go out because of the fact that my house is on top of a hill, means that it's far from the city, with no public transports etc. I don't even have a handphone to text to my friends (well, most of them enjoy texting to each other. Sometimes I wonder why).Can life get more boring? Huh.... Thank God for I'm about to go to a place where I will have fun tomorrow which I will tell all of you soon. DEBATE, here I come!

I LOVE BOOKS but I'm not a nerd

2010-06-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Reading is my passion. Especially the ones written by any best selling authors. I've been reading the HUNGER GAMES book since I opened my eyes in the morning. That's the only thing I did so far. Well, apart from taking a shower, praying, going to the toilet and do some necessary stuff (yep, I didn't even watch my beloved TV! And thank God I chose to fast this day, meaning that I have more time reading!). I was sooo into reading this that I didn't even glance at the clock! Making me pray late (thank God my brother warned me about the time. If not, I don't know whether I was going to qada' my prayers or not. LOL). I did my Zohor prayers around 3.30 and my Asar prayers around 6.40. I didn't even realize that it was time to break my fast! And so I start to eat or drink or call whatever you like at 7.30 sharp. Once I'm finished reading my HUNGER GAMES (which will be..like maybe today around 12), I'm gonna read CATCHING FIRE. I'm hoping to finish it soon without not realizing anything that's happening around me! :P

ps: Anyone wanting to borrow my books can inform me in the chat box just beside this post. Terms and conditions applied.

1. never ruin the book by spilling water, folding the corner of the book, or anything else in mind.

2. borrow as long as you like but make sure that you don't lose it.

3. the one wanting to borrow must be someone I know, or AT LEAST someone who I don't have to post my book with the 'pos laju' to somewhere like Terengganu or worst, Perlis.

Lots of LOVE to books (I'm not a nerd, okay?),

Raihan Afiqah Mohd Razin :)

Exam's finally over...

2010-06-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum to all.

Guess what? EXAM'S OVER. Yeay!

For three weeks and 1 day I've been striving for success and thank God it's all over.

There. That's it. I've got nothing to say.

With this short post, bye.

Oh yeah, one more thing.

Congrats sis Wani for attaining the FIRST PLACE in MTQ.

May Allah bless you.

Okay, now I'm done. Bye.

BOREDOM!!

2010-05-28T16:40:00.000+08:00

What do I feel right now?

BORED, RESTLESS, SLEEPY...

What should I do?

read my Garth Nix book, or sleep, or hearing nice music, or do something useful like study for my exam.

BUT, what am I doing right at this moment?

due to being unaware of what's happening to the world for almost a month,
I'm actually doing some research. IDEBATE, ALJAZEERA, STAR, NST...
just hope that this will entertain me..and make me like facts and politics just like last month.

Hoping,
Raihan Afiqah Mohd Razin

striving to achieve a better me

2010-05-14T18:05:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum everyone.

   I haven't been writing anything for almost a month. A lot has passed. I went to IIU and regretted not joining the swing team but I was still happy to be there. Although many people kept telling me that I kept wasting my time going to debate trainings, going to IIU with you guys eventhough I wasn't selected and so on, I still feel great. I was there, learning with you guys, experiencing some things that you guys have been through, and I even learned Add Maths from Muhammad. So, by this, obviously I didn't waste my time at all.

   4 days after that, we, Group A consisting of Ameerah, Aisyah, Laila and Azizul, and also Group B consisting of Amira, Arif Hakimi, me and Ulfah went to HELP University for a debate tournament. Of course, Sister Wani was there, Fakhry and Muhammad with the Sri Ayeshans as well. Both of the teams only achieve 1 victory out of 4 rounds. For team A, thanks to Sister Wani. For team B, a free win (meaning that our opponents didn't show up). Sri Ayesha got 2 wins out of four. It was kind of frustrating for me as I felt like I was the one making the team lose. But, after thinking back my past, I vow to myself that I will never blame myself as much as last year. Enough is enough Raihan.

   And, currently, some of the family members ie Ameerah, Aisyah, Madihah etc and I are missing debate like crazy. But, we have exams and mine starts today. I mean, just now. Arabic is like so hard. I'm hoping that science, history, accounting, syariah and quran sunnah isn't going to be that hard. or even harder.

   My parents kept telling me tonnes of times : Raihan, you can only debate if your results are good. If not, you have to quit. No more debating.

And thats what I'm trying to do right now. For the sake of debate, for the sake of my commitment towards debate, I have to study. So, sorry guys if I didn't say hi or even smile to you, just to let you know, being a form 4 is a heck of a stress. Feel tiresome every single day. My friends even informed me that my 'mengigau' in my sleep is getting worse-showing that I am exhausted and that I need more rest.

So, I just wanna wish everyone here today,
'SELAMAT MENJAWAB PERIKSA!'...

Is that going to help? Or you need something like:
'Alah...pekse tu senang je..x payah baca buku pun takpe. Kalau x tahu, hentam je lah'...

Either way, I hope you do your best. And don't take my second advice. Remember, your parents will know your results someday and somehow. So, read, ask, understand, memorize, and answer with Allah's help. Insya-Allah, when the going gets tough, you'll be able to get through it.

And with this, Wassalam.

The time when you can have fun without thinking too much even when you have your UPSR and you're the assistant monitor in the class.

Missing the old days where you can do the thing that you enjoy most : DEBATE.

A say of GRATITUDE towards everyone who means the world to me

2010-04-16T18:01:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since I've written anything. But, just wanna tell y'all, a lot has CHANGED these last few days or weeks, i dunnoe. I feel blessed. Totally blessed. Thank you Allah. Thanks to my debate family too. I finally can look forward to something in my life again which is debate, something that is emotionally connected to me. I now can feel happy when I'm sad, I can laugh when I feel like jumping off a building, I can talk even when I feel like I can faint at any time for being too nervous and most importantly, I can and I do have a family which I really do care about, the ones who bring joy to me in every single time I see every one of you guys. Thank you.

To my family,

*Fakhry~ you are and will always be my mentor. Thank you for introducing the word 'debate' to me, something that actually means the world to me.

*K Wani~ Thank you for making us a term called 'family'. Thanks for always being there even if I ever hurt you tonnes of times. You're the BEST sister that I've ever have. Thank you. *Hugs*

*Azizul~ Thanks for sometimes understanding me. You really are a good friend. Always be active in debate okay? Don't sleep during a debate again okay? LOL.

*Amira~ Thanks for coming to debate even if sometimes you don't feel like it. I really appreciate it dearly. And I know that everyone else do too.

*Arif Hakimi~ Thank you for tolerating with my attitude even when I sometimes get too annoying, with you always making jokes and stuff and with me who is too serious during a quarantine. Always remember, with just a little bit of more focus, you're great. I believe in you.

*Fatimah Ulfah~ Thanks for helping me in every single way. I enjoy having quarantine with you (though sometimes our way of thinking are not the same at all). I pray for your success in being a great second speaker. Pray for my success in being a third too will you? haha.

*Laila Jamilah~ Thank you for helping me in every single way too. I really enjoyed the time when we did cue cards (dont konw how to spell it) with madihah and jijul. You were great and will always be great.

*Aisyah~ My little sister! You are always great. Just have faith. Someday, you can even be better than me but before that, please help me to help you.

*Madihah~ Thanks for always being there for me, supporting me along the way. Thanks for always looking forward to any debate meetings. It makes me feel better.

ps1: Remember, all of you mean the world to me. I'm so sorry if I ever hurt some of you, or even maybe all of you. Just for you to remember, even if I want something so badly, I will always support you guys. I will never ever have any real intentions to hurt you all. F.Y.I, I'm always happy for all of you.

ps2: REMINDERS everyone!
I never had and will NEVER have any regrets when coming to debate. And I hope the same applies to you too. Remember, debate is not just about winning. Its about living your life to the fullest, doing something that you really enjoy to do. Its about doing your best at something, not because you're forced to do it due to too many people counting on you, but because you can and you want to. Aiming to win doesn't mean that you will win. But performing your best, and enjoying it and also imagining you with your trophy will eventually make the judges stir and think thrice if they want to give you a lose. But if you ever lose, think back what you did. Is there any teamwork? or what about your relationship with Allah? Never ignore those things.

So, don't waste your time. Go and debate. Live your life to the fullest.

realitycheck~

2010-04-02T20:34:00.000+08:00

   Haha. My 2 weeks had some major ups and downs. And believe me, this week, I was emotionally unstable. I kept crying and crying. God knows why.
Well, I feel like retelling my story..maybe not the whole story. But, yeah, I think you'll get the idea.

24 March-Wednesday
   We had a debate. Me, Kimi, Ulfah, Laila, Fakhry, k Wani, Wani jr. and Ameerah. Well, it kinda sucks. NO. It was worse. Kimi and I was on the government side plus Laila and Ulfah on the other. THBT Celebrities Should Be Given Special Cells. During the quarantine, Fakhry said something bout 'Special cells are metafore' which I dont know what metafore means, till now. So, we talked crap stuff. Real crap. And, as usual, Ulfah with her brilliant brain caught the issue just like that. Hooray for the opposition. Ha-ha.

25 March-Thursday
   Fakhry came again. But this time, he did not come with the same purpose. It was for the selection on who's going to IIU. I was so damn scared, believe me. All of the girls came except Aisyah (kawad) and the boys (Kimi-badminton, Jijul-kk). Got the motion THBT History Should Be Made Compulsary in Primary Schools. As usual, for almost a year, I did badly. I kinda feel stupid for not knowing whats the issue about (though I actually knew but somehow I was badly confused, again). Sorry you guys, for not doing the best. And, as expected, I didn't get the part. Bye IIU.

27 March-Saturday
   I was at school around 9.05 am. With Aisyah. We waited till k Wani and Fakhry came. Then, out of nowhere, Fakhry informed us about his insane idea (well, I was looking forward to it but going without permission? Yeah, a brave act indeed) to go to GMI. He wanted to debate of course. So, we went to GMI with Fakhry (his dad drove us there) and stumbled upon Kimi at the entrance (well, Aisyah and I went back to school with him). Huh....Lets cut the story short, shall we? We went and saw the GMI students vs Sri Ayesha on the motion THBT First World Countries Should Pay For The Third World Countries' Environmental Projects. The opposition won. And guess what, sadly and unsurprisingly, I didn't get the motion.
   There was one time when k Wani had gone home and Fakhry was praying, there was only me, Aisyah, Kimi and Muhammad. He (Muhammad) was treating us to some lunch as he was the one with the coupons (as he's the comittee). I was standing with Aisyah. Then some realization hit me in the face. I thought why on Earth did Muhammad spend his coupon on us, on someone unworthy like me? Why did k Wani and Fakhry wanted to spend their savings to bring me to IIU? Why does everyone keep hoping that I could become like last year? And, after all I did, why did my debate family still treats me like I'm still a part of their family? WHY? All this while, I was ungrateful. I was too ungrateful. I felt like I don't deserve to have the family that I have now. Then I thought that Allah had given me a great family to be with, a family that could stand everything that I do, the one that loves me the way I am. Why didn't I repay them back?
   I looked at Aisyah. "Kak Raihan. Why are you crying?". I just smiled, hoping that the little one might understand that I want to keep this to myself. It was just a simple question. Why am I crying. Then I thought, even the juniors know what is a family. She cares for me that's why she asked. Everyone in my family cares. They always were. And they always will.

28 March-Sunday
   I got a letter from k Wani that was delivered by k Sabi. Reading her letter, I really was in tears. It seemed that being me, the useless, worthless, ungrateful sister and debater was actually burdening her. If you're reading this, I'm sorry k Wani. I'm really really sorry. As a sister, I really shouldn't hurt you. Especially in that way.

29 March-Monday
   There was suppose to be a debate that evening. Even Fakhry came.But, what was scheduled was on 3.00 pm but it started around 4.00 because of some problems. I went searching for Kimi, Aisyah, Laila, Ulfah and most importantly, Amira. We were suppose to have a debate on the same motion, the time we went to GMI. But, unfortunately, k Wani was having a meltdown and Amira didn't come so Fakhry taught us on how some things. Issues, how to make points based on the political side (me, especially) and I talked spontaneously (with the help of Fakhry, obviously) with four points. Haha! And I thought I was the one who can't even talk anymore! I didn't talk that well but it felt great.

30 March-Tuesday
   We had a discussion on the three motions which was suppose to be debated the next day with Sri Ayesha. THBT First Wold Countries Should Take Responsibility For The Global Warming, THBT Hybrid Cars Are Fantasy and THBT ICJ Should Be Extended For The Environment. Well, it really wasnt a proper discussion especially because k Wani wasn't there. The only thing that I thought at that time was that I don't want the moment to feel somehow tense. Especially because I was the one standing in front them. Haha. It didn't become tense alright. But somehow it became a place where we had fun, not much discussion. Haha.

31 March-Wednesday
   Kimi, Ulfah and K Wani vs Kamaliah, Fattah, Iman on the motion THBT First World Countries Should Take Responsibility For The Global Warming. Thank God I was able to join in their quarantine because at that time, I felt so excited for the match that I myself wanted to debate. After the match, I heard every single comment given my Fakhry's mom, himself and Muhammad. I was nodding like mad in every comments that they gave. Not because I understood what they said, like what Aisyah thought but because I agreed on what they said. In every single word. Well, the debate was okay. Kimi did the reply speech for the first time!
   When there was only me, Aisyah, Ulfah and Laila in the class (everyone went back), I shouted to myself and cried again. I was mad, so mad at myself for always follow my emotions and not my brain. What's the use of a brain if you didn't use it? I was nodding when they commented. Not because I understood but because I knew and agree on what they were commenting about. I saw their mistakes, flaws and weaknesses on both teams, the same thing that they commented on. And for once, I actually saw the issue! I saw everything! And I feel so damn mad at myself for not using my head in debate! There wouldn't be any problems if I just use my head. But as mad as I am, I felt so relieved as Allah actually showed the way to be a better me. Alhamdulillah.

   I really hope to be better in the future. Thank you Fakhry for lending me your book for a while. Thanks k Wani for always believing in me. Thanks to everyone for always being there for me. Thank you Allah for showing me the right path. I don't know what you guys saw in me, whether am I special or not. But what I do know is that the old me is too precious to let go. Thank you. :)

Whats past is past~

2010-03-21T02:08:00.000+08:00

   Reading my little sister's post, Madihah reminded me of myself. It seems that being scared to talk, especially when you're asked to is scary. Terrifying. Or is it?

   My first time debating was not scary, not even the slightest bit. In fact, it was the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. I felt alive, relieved as everyone actually hear me out for the first time. I can still remember sister Nafeesa teaching me the 3Ms, matter, manner, method. I was in awe when I saw her talking fluently in english (mind you, that was my first time seeing a Malaysian talking in english that fluent. My english teachers are no match against her). I smiled all the time - simply ignoring my fear as I was too excited to fill my head with everything. Then came a time when she gave us (Amira and I) 35 minutes to think on what to say. Anything.

   We took our time, not really thinking on what to say (overwhelmed with fear and nervousness, haha) and we even met with tc Mai to ask on what to say. She kept explaining on some things but we were too scared to plant those stuff in our head. When the time came, we got ourselves in the class. I still remember hearing sister Nafeesa saying 'ok. Now I would like to call upon Raihan. Everyone, give her a round of applause!'.

   I felt like I was going to die at the moment. My hands were trembling, my whole body felt like it could collapse at any moment. I looked at her, shaking my head in protest asking 'knape saye first? nape bkn amira? lg un, sye x tau nk ckap ape'. Haha. Great move raihan. Just great. 'Just go in front and tell all of us bout u'. I walked to the front of the class, closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and opened it. 'Hi. My name's Raihan. I study..no. Learn...no. Umm...at Maahad Hamidiah'. Okay raihan. You're really embarassing yourself right now. I looked at Amira, making a face gesture of needing help ASAP! She shook her head. Great.

   Tc Mai was my savior back then. She suggested some topics and she hit the jackpot when she said 'why dont you tell us why you hated staying in the hostel?'. I looked at her.

me: no. I love staying at the hostel.
nafeesa: why? the hostel is a really dirty place. I've once stayed in the hostel. When I opened my bed, there was a coackroach there!
me: so? you can just throw it away. if you're too afraid to hold it, ask your friends to do it or use a broom.
nafeesa: well, dont you think that your parents think of you as a burden? thats why they put you in the hostel.
me: they put us in the hostel to make us more disciplined and more independent. not because they hate us!
nafeesa: well, you go home, and sleep the whole day. dont you think that your parents still thinks of you as a burden?
me: they dont think of us as a burden! If they do, then they wouldn't get married in the first place!

   That was it. It felt great. I arguing with the best debater the school has ever had. No doubt about it. Everyone in the class clapped and cheered when I sat down. I can feel my blood rushing towards my entire body. It was as if it had been stuck somewhere, before I talked. I sat down beside Amira, relieved.

   I continued on debating for a few months before going to IIU. My goal was to be the best debater, better than sister Nafeesa, Fakhry, sister Wani, Jijul and Amira. I wanted to be the best. I still remember sister Nafeesa and Fakhry saying that i should use the words 'I will, I can, I must etc.'. When Fakhry told me that he and sister Nafeesa agreed that I was better than everyone, I was glad. It seemed that I can still hope to beat them someday. I wanted to win. Losing was never an option. If I lose, only God knows how dissappointed I am. I HATE LOSING.

   Going to IIU was great. The experience, the memories there was irreplaceable. We had all of our ups and downs together. But my family always wonder why I dont (or rather, cant) talk like before. It all happened in IIU. Everything in IIU, and in my head.

   Everyone kept saying that I was the best in my team. I wasn't proud of it. I never was. But when Mahiss A lost to Green Road in the double octos, when I saw how Fakhry reacted (sorry Fakhry if you're reading this) to the loss, I thought 'why didn't we, Mahiss B go to the breaks too? Or at least win more than 2 matches?'. I felt guilty. Too guilty. Everyone knows how I can react if I feel too guilty. I'll go insane! The last time I felt too guilty was when we had a match against Seseri kl. In the middle of the debate, I cried. Not because I felt embarassed but because of guilt. I felt guilty of letting Fakhry down. He was the one to talk, to win the match not me. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if those things happened, Fakhry and the others would feel, or at least reacted better. I blamed myself for everything that had happened in IIU.

   I started to be scared of losing ever since. I hated the feeling of guilt. The scared of losing gradually turns to scared to debate. I'm scared to give out points to people (in IIU, only my points were used in every single match), to speak, to do everything. I was scared to give points as I felt like they will not accept mine's or they will laugh at it. I'm scared to not give out points because I'll eventually grow weak in debate. I got so many personal problems that I cant solve it all on my own. My family wanted to help but...nothing good came out of it.

   Usually newbies are afraid to talk but once they're comfortable the way they are, they'll speak out everything that crosses their mind. The opposite applied to me.

   This year, some of the probs are still there, but I'm trying to reduce it as fast as I can as I really really want to go to IIU. I've reset my goal again. I've done everything that I could. Only by the will of Allah that I can do better this year.
Insya-Allah, just wait. I'll be better.

Etiqa's Open Day 2010~

2010-03-20T11:38:00.000+08:00

   This is just a short post. I wanted to make a long one but, currently I have no ideas. Rusyaidi wants to use the laptop anyway. Well the story goes like this..

   Yesterday, my family (except my father) went to the Etiqa's (an insurance company under Maybank) Open Day. It was okay. En. Asrol, first runner up of Raja Lawak (from what my mother told me) was there, as the host for the day. I took part in two contests. Drawing and colouring (my mum talked me into this) and writing an essay. Alhamdulillah, I got first place for the drawing thing and second for the essay writing (mind you, I wrote an essay in English. hehe).

   I would like to thank everyone for my success in these contests.
> my mum, for being so supportive
> my art class teacher when I was an 8 year old for teaching me how to excel in arts.
and lastly,
> my debate family especially my mentor for always talking in English. You guys make my english a whole lot better. :)

I got a mastermind game plus a 50 game compendium... ;P

Recalling back the old days~

2010-03-15T00:07:00.000+08:00

       I dont really fancy going to kenduri-s but I just went anyway this morning. My mum really does seems like she knows what shes supposed to do (duh, mums knows best!) when she told me during breakfast that there was a kenduri just now. Maybe, just maybe I made a not-wanting-to-go face when she told me it was going to be held at IIU. Instantly I looked at her and asked 'where at? which hall?'. She smiled, the smile of victory and said she that she didnt remember. At first, I still hesitate whether wanting to go or not. So I decided that I should go. Going didnt hurt anyway.

     The journey going there felt like last time, the time when I went to IIU for the debate competition. I felt goosebumps all the way. I did try to cool myself down, it didnt work. When I asked my mum for the second timeon which building was it held, she said at KAED. I smiled. Then I heard my mum talking to my dad on the directions as they dont know where KAED was so I proudly voluteered myself saying 'mum, I know where it is'.

       Arriving at the ceremony, I felt like exploring the whole campus. Recalling back the memories there. But, my mum said that she had an appoinment right after so I ate as little and as fast as my mouth can chew and told her (and him, my dad) that I would be going with my little brother, Rusyaidi. Thankfully, they gave me 15 minutes. I took my brothers hand in mine and started walking as fast as I could though I knew that we wouldnt make it even till EDU.

       I walked and walked while showing my brother what place bring what memory. I showed him the time when we lost to Green Road, the room where Amira, Arif and I went during the first double octos (the match that we went to was kinda boring) to hang out, and I still remember the 'green shirt' guy. Haha. We climbed up the stairs and I showed him the view of the kenduri from upstairs, the KAED hall where the roll-call took place (it was locked just now). Then we went downstairs to find my dad, trying to call us. I thought that it was time to go when I asked him 'how much time do we have left?'. He said 5 more minutes. With a smile, his eyes followed our footstep going further and further to explore more.

       I then asked Rusyaidi, whether did he want to see more. He said yes and I took him to the clearing where we had all our meals, the cafeteria (he wanted to see this, not me), and I showed him the way to go to EDU. It was nice to recall back what I've did there. I even told my big brother that I'll be going again this year. Maybe I will. Only time and DETERMINATION will tell.

       So, I'm watching TV right now. Maybe I'll write again later. Got to go. Bye2.

just a normal day in another normal life~

2010-02-27T14:23:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since I've written my last blog isn't it? Well, let me write everything that I can remember that is happening in my life lately...

Haha. I've transferred to 4 Ghazali to take the Account stream. Many people were shocked and asked me about it. Thank God. At least, now I know that my friends do care about me. Some of them in Razi were mad at me for changing class without telling them! Sorry you guys. It feels so excruciating to leave you guys especially teacher Hazidah as i've always wanted to learn form her since I was a form 1 student and the pain is still here, in my heart. But, as sad as I am now, I've got to think about my results, in exams and SPM. Besides, maybe it'll turn out good in the end. I've got my mom's blood, an accountant, ny dad's blood, a great businessman and their mixture, which is a debater.

Debate. Hmm...debate. Our family is tearing apart. I know. And rumour has it that the administrators of the school dont really like us. But, I do believe that they dont have anything against us. And, what I believe is always true. I think. And there really are too much complications going on lately. Makes my head spinning all the time, same as sister Wani's. With the newbies on one hand, the old ones who some of them forgot how to debate with not much training on the other hand, the teachers' impressions on us on some other hand and the truth which whether or not the school supports us on the other. There are more probs that that. Come to think of it, why didnt God just create us with 4 hands? and the other problems can go to our legs. Oh, Raihan. What are you saying? Anyways, problems kept rising. People's and mine's.

Well, let me just tell you why am I sooo stressed out lately. Sorry to anyone who is disappointed with me for any reasons, maybe I didnt smile to them as usual, or not fufilling any of their desires on time etc. Its just that, I dont have much time to think and do all those things. When you are me, you can tell that life is short. Believe me.

6.00: Woke up, prepare self for the day
7.00: go to school (without breakfast. as the assistant chief in the dorm, you need to make sure your dormmates clean up all their mess before going out of the dorm)
2.20: school's out but stay back to do homework which had to be passed that day
2.50: went back to hostel (the walking takes around 5-10 minutes)
3.10: finish eating (sometimes dont have time to eat), gone to musolla to pray
3.30: sports or debate or meetings or karate (prep is 1/10 chance for me, eben if im not mistaken, in this month, i've only went to prep thrice!)
5.00: rest for a while, no time to sleep
5.10: go and pray as the musolla closes at 5.15
5.30: do some homework
6.10: bath
6.45: go to mosque, without consuming any dinner
9.30: back form mosque, prep time (cant really study or do any work as my friends are too noisy)
11.15: back to dorm, read the quran with dormmates
11.35: do homework and other stuffs
2.15: went to bed

well, now you see why I am so freaking moody some times. Every day, I'll get a major headache, tonnes of homework, much duties to do and so on.I cant tell anyone my probs because, you cant really find a true friend at my block. I mean, they will hear what you complain about, eventually, you'll ended up wanting to be understood by others but they'll compare you with their probs (which are not that much, but they kept repeating it and make it look as if it is too much to handle) and they will think that you're a complainer and will start to talk behind your back. Your real intention is to be heard but they tell others that you're boasting around with your position etc.

Well, I dont really have mush to tell. Based on my schedule, you can just conclude that I am a really busy person. Really.

ps: I do wish that I still am a Form 3. A more relaxing life than right now.

~~The memiors of the girls of batch 94~~

~~all of us. MAHISS's United Being Harmony 94~~

The BUZINESS of my year~

2010-02-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

My eyes are failing me... I'm not going blind silly. Its just that I'm tired...and sleepy. That's all. But writing this blog seems the best way for me to not to go to sleep. So...let me tell you everything that is happening to me this last few days~

Studies:
~ I have problems with my studies. Major probs. I dont and I cant understand anything that my teachers are teaching me ie Chemistry, Physics, Add Maths etc. I kills me not to understand as it felt as if I'm going to get a FAIL for the exams. It makes me think of the future and visualize failure. And it kills me to be so darn stressed about it.

Cocurricular activities:
~ DEBATE: To anyone out there who doesnt know who I am, yes, Im a debater. It really is
hard to go to any debate practices when you dont even have the time to manage
yourself! Not just that, being a third speaker for the first time in my life sucks
especially when not a single person there teaches you how to be one. And every
time after every training, people kept saying that I'm not that good. Its frustra-
ting when they say that especially because firstly, they are not the ones teaching
you when they are actually supposed to and secondly, because I kept being a good
speaker last year and when I hear someone saying that Im not good, it felt like if
my heart is a glass, it would eventually be shattered to pieces.

~NAQIBAH: Its hard to be someone who teaches or guides other people when knowing
you really have too much flaws. Imagine what would they do if they found
out that we did anything wrong? Or that we did something good but other
people misunderstood you and they heard those rumours? Being a good
person is so damn hard.

~BADAR: To be a BADAR was something that I kow how to do but having the attitudes of a
BADAR seems too hard to do. You need to set a good example to other poeple when
you know that even you have problems. You need to guide people to the right path
when you yourself dont think that you are good enough to do that. And there was
so much more.

~BIRO ECONS:

the first month on 2010~

2010-01-29T22:33:00.000+08:00

Ahh! Being a form 4 is so tiring. I felt like going home every single day. No, make it a moment.

My problems:

I have lots of homework like more than 5 per day.
Not just that, I'm the only one who has activities on every single evening, making me not go to prep.
Then, I cant really study at night because of the fact that my batchmates are too noisy.
I cant do my all my homework that particular night and finish it for only 2 hours.
and i'll eventually end up not finishing my homework.

Oh God. I'm so stressed out! Can anyone help me somehow? ANYONE?

The End of 2009~

2009-12-31T13:23:00.001+08:00

From what I read, everyone seems to tell thier stories on the year 2009. Well, I'll do the exact thing as well. So, brace yourselves for you're about to read a really problematic post...

The year 2009 started with me thinking of PMR all the time. And debate too.

The word 'debate' came to me for the first time when I was a Form2. It was on a weekend and I was in my dorm. As usual, most of the people were watching TV at the TV Room. I was the only junior in my dorm with two Form4s. Back then, I was studying Science for my mid-year when I heard the Form4s talking in English. It was kind of weird and funny to hear them talking in some Malay accent with not-so-perfect grammar etc. I was eavesdropping when I saw them looking at me.

'Raihan, awak nak join ke?'. I heard k. Teha aka Fatihah asked. I shood my head saying no. Then, after a while, I closed my book as I cant study upon hearing them talking so I decided to sit with them, in a circle and joined them. We talked and talked until it came to a point when k. Teha and k. Atikah asked me a simple question.

'Raihan, do you know Fakhry? Abdullah Fakhry? He's k Nafeesa's little brother'. I gave them a puzzled look and said no. They were surprised with my answer and said that he and his sister were very famous at school. And then they started telling me about those two famous people whom I didnt know and debate as well. I was shocked as I was interested in Malay debate and to think that there was an English one, it was fantastic. So, from that day onwards, I kept thinking about debate and one day, I told Amira about it. She was interested but kept giving excuses not to enter. I convinced her and one day, we told k. Iman about it.

One the last day of school in 2008, I was reading my Harry Potter book when Amira came and pulled me by the arm, saying that a sister was calling for us to tell us about debate. I then closed my book and took it with me (as it was too precious to be left alone) and found Tasnim. Soon after, I saw this sister, calling Amira and leading us towards the mosque. We started with some taaruf. Then, this k. Wani told us all about the roles of the speakers. After recess, we did some debate training. K Wani gave the motion THBT Harry Potter books are good for our children. I teamed up with Amira as the government while Tasnim teamed up with k Wani. The debate was great though I didnt really know what it was back then.

2009 is a year in which I can never understand myself. I was really looking forward for the next debate practice. I kept asking Amira when would it be. Then, for the first time, there was an announcement during the assembly 'perhatian kepada semua pendebat bahasa inggeris, sila tunggu di dataran pengetua selepas perhimpunan'. I was excited upon hearing that particular announcement but then it occured to me that I wasnt a debater. I was just some unknown newbie. Then, all of a sudden, k Wani saw me and called me to join her. I smiled from ear to ear.

Going to debate trainings was the greatest thing. Seeing k Nafeesa for the first time made me realize that she was the one that I wanted to be like. She got me to talk for the first time when she and Teacher Mai talked about staying at hostels and how boring it was. She made me realize how great debate was especially when debating on THBT Pizza is Better Than Sushi. She gave us homework on the motion THBT Technology is the Modern Devil. She encouraged me as well as taught me on the basics of debating.

Then, Fakhry came along. I was scared once as I thought he might laugh at me when I was blabbering as he is my senior after all, but the thought of me wanting to beat him and k Nafeesa drove me to talk. He was great as a mentor, teaching, helping, encouraging me in every single way to be a better debater. Having Amira, Tasnim, Arif, Jijul, k Wani, Kimi, Fakhry, Laila, Ulfah and Wni Jr. was better. All of us enjoyed going to practices.

The tournament at IIU was like adding cherry on top of an icing. Fakhry kept telling us to just go there and have fun, gain experience and thus gain knowledge. But, as much as I hate to admit, who doesnt want to win there? Even if it means just one preliminary round? Going there made me want to achieve more, thus be a better debater. It clouded my mind, thinking that I wanted to win.

The first round was bad. Real bad. But, I kept thinking that we were just newbies, we cant just expect to win. The secong round was the same as well. Well, the third one was worst. We got a margine of 11. The next round was better. We won with a margine of 6 and the fifth was 2. During the last priliminary round, we lost to KISAS. As dissappointed as I was, I was happy for Mahiss A. They continued on going to the breaks.

I went to the their match, the last one at IIU. The motion was THW Ban Paparazzi. They were good but SMK Green Road was better. After the loss of Mahiss A, I saw Fakhry's face changed. He looked crushed. Unfortunately, I was the type of person who gets really upset if anything goes wrong with my friends. Seeing him crushed, I felt guilty for losing as well. I felt that if maybe, maybe we could win, maybe his mood would be better. I blamed myself for his sadness, thinking that I wasnt good enough. I felt like I was useless to the team, useless to my own mentor.

Going back to Maahad made me thought that maybe I would be better. At first, yes. But as time passes, I cant seem to understand myself. I'm scared to talk, thinking that I'll eventually lose and make everyone feel upset all over again. I felt useless especially after debating on the motion THBT Debating Is A Waste Of Time. The motion meade me feel more useless, thinking that maybe debating IS a waste of time. If not for everyone, for me. I cant debate anymore, not knowing why, so why on Earth did I go to any debate training?

Debate seems too uncertain for me next year. I still dont know if I ever want to debate anymore...

HURRAY!! A Happy Beginning to a More Harsh World...

2009-12-24T18:11:00.001+08:00

I went to school today around 9.40 to discover that the results were going to be released on 11! I thought 'never mind, then. I can still meet some friends of mine'.

Going to school on this day, 24th of December is barely going to be a memorable one as I thought that life is long, somehow. I strolled around the school, gradually bump into some people who I consider as friends of mine. Then I saw Mazieyah and Diyana, chatting, I think at the canteen. I sat myself down at the 'koperasi' and shared my stories with some of my other friends, Suhailah, Munirah, Athi, Wan Syahirah and Azzira. Waiting for the results was like hell for my friends, not for me though. I as unemotional as possible, just like when taking the UPSR result.

Around 10.45, we went to the hall where my mum and brother awaits for my return. Sitting there, in front of the row, first on que (they were the ones doing the queing) made me remeber about the past. The same thing happened when I was in Standard 6, though at that time, all of us were standing, not sitting. We wait, and wait, and wait but the results haven't even arrived at school yet! My mum and brother said 'Thank God my dad didn't come along. With his meetings at 11, he must be furious waiting for the results'. I smiled in agreement.

Finally, the moment came. I was actually chatting with my friend, Mardhiyah whom is my teacher's daughter when the results came. I was prepared to sit back on my chair to let my mum take the slip for me when my mum said 'Raihan, go and take your slip. You're the first in line'. So I stood in front of my teacher, anxious at first. I looked downwards and saw the papers. Teacher Hamidah searched for mine and suddenly I saw it. My name that is. Then my mm came an stood beside me. 'So, what did you get'. Teacher then said, 'Raihan, congratulations'. My mum took the slip and she gave me a really big hug, which my family call it as a 'bear hug'.

The first thing that slipped through my mouth was 'Oww. Mum, you're squashing my spectacles'. Haha. That went well. She then took me by the arm and led me outside and we did the sujud syukur together. After calling my grandma, who earlier said that she cant do all her chores as she was too worried about me, I went back inside the hall, asking everyone on their results.

Going outside the hall, I saw some press and they took pictures of some of the 9A students. I was in too. It kept occuring to me why of all places did those press came here? After asking Teacher Hamidah, a boy from my school got the best results in PMR. But, unfortunately, that kid, name Amirul Ikhwan or something moved to another school when he was Form 1. Weird? I know.

Anyway, my mum then asked me on what present do I want. Then I said 'Mum, my policy is 'tak meminta tapi mengharap'. So she spent money on lunch for us, and a slice of Secret Recipe for me and my brother. After that, we went to Nagoya and I was attracted to one of the jubah there. She bought that for me too and said, 'that's your present'. Shocked and puzzled as I was, I said, 'WHAT??'. Maybe she was somehow joking, I hope? Well, she bought hundreds of ringgit to buy my brother a cell phone but instead, she bought me a jubah, ONLY?? It's not that I'm not grateful, it's just that I want a cellphone too. :( It's just that she won't buy one for me as she said that I can't bring mine to school. Owh, what a bummer.

PS: But still, I can live with that. I'll be going on a vacation soon. To Genting. Hoping to get some
treats soon too. As SOON as possible. :D

To FRIENDS and FAMILY

2009-12-23T15:04:00.000+08:00

NAILS IN THE FENCE

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence)

There once was a little boy
who had a bad temper.
His Father gave him a bag of nails and
told him that every time
he lost his temper,
he must hammer a nail into the
back of the fence.
The first day the boy
had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks,
as he learned to control his anger,
the number of nails
hammered daily gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was
easier to hold his temper
than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested
that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that
he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young
boy was finally able to tell his father that all the
nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence
He said,
'You have done well,
my son, but look at the holes
in the fence.The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.
But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry,
the wound will still be there.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Remember that friends are very rare jewels,
indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share words of praise and
they always want to open their hearts to us.'
It's National Friendship Week.
Show your friends how much you care.
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND,
even if it means
sending it back to the person
who sent it to you!
If it comes back to you,
you will then know you have
a circle of friends..

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!

Now send this to every friend you have!!
And to your family
(they need to know that you love them too)..
Please forgive me if I have ever left a 'hole' in your fence!

Wife vs Girlfriend

2009-12-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

Hey, ppl. I'm NOT insulting anyone or anything here okay?
This entry is just for fun. Hehe. Enjoy!

Wife is like TV, girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)

At home watch TV, go out bring HP.

No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP.

TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but handphone is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time.

Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding,

Most Important, TV got remote.. HP don't have..

Last but not least....... . TV do not have virus, but h/p yes......... .have VIRUS.......
........ once get it, terus KONG........ hahahahaha. ..... so better choose TV .....

Michael Jackson's story

2009-12-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

Michael Jackson (MJ) was known as the most loving person in the world.He gave up most of his assets for charity and all his life, he foughtfor equality of the African Americans, AIDS victims, Against DrugAbuse, Against Abortion, Against Child Labor and secretly channelledhis properties for the hungry children of the world. However, hewasn't peace at heart. He always think of himself as a child trappedinside a man's body. Being Peter Pan is all his dream, never to growup, forever a child. That inspires him to build Neverland - a heavenfor children. Children of all ages and races are welcomed toNeverland. MJ had so much love to give.

However, he made a mistake which he didn't know of the consequences.He saw the peaceful life his brother, Jermaine (Muhammad Abdul Aziz)had as a Muslim - true, Jermaine faced so much pressure that he movedto Bahrain.

In 1989, MJ made a press conference which shocked the world, "I haveseen the Islam in the life of my brother, I have read the books aboutIslam. And I'd love to someday feel the calmness and peace ofIslam...."

Since that, MJ's life was never the same again.

He was accused of so many accusations against child molestation. MJwas not someone who can deal with much pressure as he is a 'delicatechild'. All the extortion and black mail followed after that.Everything he did was being seen as wrong in the eyes of the Media.All these are to influence his fans to hate MJ. If he is hated, thenhe would not be influencial anymore.

For several years, he stayed in England. Getting motivation from along time friend, Cat Stevens, who had converted into Islam - namedYusuf Islam. From him, MJ learnt how Yusuf had survived being Muslim.He made friends with a song writer, Zain Bhikha too, who wrote a songtitled, "GIVE THANKS TO ALLAH", which he wanted MJ to sing whenever heis ready.

Following his trial, MJ withdrew to Bahrain, where he was the specialguest of sheik Abdullah bin Hamad Al Khalifa, the son of Bahrain’sking. It was then that Michael began to give conversion more “seriousthought.”

MJ stayed in Bahrain for approximately 3 years. He studied Islam, theprayers and learn to read the Koran (al-Quran).

Finally, he came back to Los Angeles and in November 2008 MJ hadformally converted to Islam in a ceremony at a close friend’s house inLos Angeles.

He perform Haj with the King of Bahrain and son on December 2008.

He had a hidden agenda when he wanted to make a final comeback. Heannouced in a press conference on March 2009, "This will be my finalconcert. I'll see you all in July...."

He planned that during his concert, he would announce that this is theFINAL concert as he wouldn't be performing anymore. He will declarethat he is a Muslim and will only sing with Yusuf Islam and Friends.At the end of the concert, he will be singing the song, "GIVE THANKSTO ALLAH" with Yusuf Islam. That is the reason why he chose London ashis final concert venue instead of the USA. It was because he thoughthe could escape the USA's extortion, and that he could perform withyusuf Islam who is in England.

At 12.30am, 25th June 2009, he hugged his production manager and said,"After reherasing for 2 months, I am finally ready for the concert..."Before leaving to sleep, he waved his dancers, "It was a good nighteveryone. I'll see you all tomorrow..."

The next thing... He was pronouced dead at 2.26am....

When 911 was called, there are so much questions asked. It is as ifthey didn't know who MJ is and where he lived. The questions asked aremore towards to delay time.The hospital said the autopsy result can only be obtained after 2months - very illogical as even the worst African technology couldobtain the result in less than 2 weeks.

MJ's family members opt for second private autopsy as they started tofeel something fishy is going on. The result came out in about 4 days- MJ was drugged with high dosage of anaesthetic - drug that bringsabout a reversible loss of consciousness, if used to much could stopthe heart from beating.

Another result which was not aired in the media was, MJ's stomach isempty of this drug, but his blood were filled with it - same case asthe death of Marilyn Monroe.The private doctors also found many needle marks, afraid to be forcedinjections given to MJ on his bed.

In CNN Live after a week, Barack Obama was interviewed. And he said,"I love MJ, I grew up listening to his songs. It is a great loss, butrest assured that there is no conspiracy in his death..."Now, why must a President made such statement before the officialautopsy result came out? How would he know that there is no conspiracywithout the post-mortem result? Seems like someone is afraid of his shadows.

MJ was known to the world as a person who is against drug abuse. Whymust he be addicted to drug, then? If he wanted to commit suicide, whyrehearse for his concert? And why will he want to see his dancers thenext day?

Enough about his death. I am sure people around the world is notstupid anymore. These supreme power can fool us during the MarilynMonroe conspiracy, Martin Luther King and Princess Diana. But in thisMJ's case, they left too many loopholes for those who think...!!

MJ left us with this unfinished studio-recorded song, GIVE THANKS TOALLAH. You can download this song here:http://www.filefactory.com/file/ahb80ff/n/Micheal_Jackson_-_Give_Thanks_To_Allah_mp3

MJ's family was about to give him a Muslim burial with the help of TheBrotherhood of Islam. But, the CIA showed up at Neverland's door -blackmailed them that if they do so publicly, Katherine (MJ's mother)would be pull off from MJ's 3 children's custody as well as MJ'sestates. Instead, they'll hire Debbie Rowe for the purpose, and thecourt will be in their favour. So much for democracy and fairness...

Finally, they agreed to let MJ have a Muslim Burial in Neverland. Butin condition, must show to the public a Christian Memorial Service, asto prove to the world that MJ was never a Muslim.

So, Staples Centre was just a normal show. That's why the coffin wasclosed and sealed.

MJ was buried days earlier. The Gold Coffin was empty. They were aboutto bury the Coffin according to Christianity ways in Hollywood - as intheir deal with the USA Government.

These happened, because the USA is afraid of the rising numbers ofMuslims in the world.

(Sheikh Ha**d)

The Brotherhood of Islam

Buletin of Bahrain

What a Shock!

2009-12-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

This morning (around 12.30), i got news from my friend Arif bout the intraschool for next year. Well, i got some good news, and bad ones too. The good news is that next year, i'll be competing in that particular event. I mean, its WAJIB for every single debater except for k Wani and Fakhry of course. Well, to think that i'll be competing, in SCHOOL, its kinda scary. But, overall, its making me sort of excited as well. And guess what, thats a really really good sign.

Well, the bad news is that...we (me, arif, mira, jijul etc.) cant compete as a team. I mean, we have to find our own teammates, in some short period of time. Well, it would be great to compete against each other and to know who's better rite? but it will be really tiring to teach my would-be-teammates how to debate in ENGLISH! Oh well, i'll just have to live with it ain't i??

Okay then, lets continue with this day shall we?

I was supposed to go to Ampang Point with my mum on her bike just now. But then my brother Rais started to 'mrajuk' coz he cant go, so, well eventually, the whole family went there, except for my dad (he still works okay!). Finally, after pleading to my mum to buy some books since last month, she brought us to some rental shop... well, i rented 2 books (the depodit was RM38 each man!). For me, that was too expensive. I wouldnt rent books, i would just buy new ones!

Well, we went to the Popular bookstore. Then, me and my brother Rasyad were fighting over this book 'I Can Read You Like A Book'. Well, its like a psychology book, really. Fortunately, my mum bought it for us (but Rasyad has to pay it back, hahaha).

Just now, i went to some Arabic class with my mum. It was okay. But i miss my Arabic class at school more.

Shopping...:(

2009-12-03T18:18:00.000+08:00

Today is soooo tiring. I had to wake up so darn early to go shopping with my family. And guess what? Last night I slept around 3.30am! So much for chatting! Nwy, I had to shop for my school uniform. Wanna know something? My school have these new rules which is everyone, and I mean every single student EXCEPT the prefects to wear normal school uniforms for next year! Can you imagine that? I mean, come on, how come only the prefects can have their way? We, as in, the PPS, the 'koopians', Badar and so on have to wear normal uniforms. That's not fair. I mean like, all of us have to buy new clothes and all. It costs a lot of money! And did the school think our parents are millionaires??? It's okay if money grows on trees! But, this is reality, rite? They have to work to pay those uniforms which can sometimes costs hundreds. My parents even considered to transfer me to some other school just because my school has stupid rules. Huh...

Nwy, we bought our uniforms. My youngest brother, Rais (he's 9 years old) didn't have to buy anything. Fortunate for him, eventhough he is a prefect, he doesn't have a school like mine. On the other hand, my other brother, Rusyaidi (he's 11) bought everything. (He quit being a prefect actually...and God knows why) Nwy, we went to a shoe store just now. The cashier went wrong so my mum asked Rais to go start the engine first. Fifteen minutes after that, she asked me to go and wait with Rais at the car. I went there and got totally worried because he's not there. Stupid thoughts came to me so I went back to see my mum. And there was Rais, standing sleepily beside my mum. When I asked my mum, she simply said "Die tertido tadi kat kusi dalam kedai". Hahaha. So much for worrying.

I got home and my cousin was there. And...life goes on. Normally.

PS: Tonight I'm gonna watch New Moon! I bought 2 'cetak rompak' (piracy, I think) CDs. New Moon and Ninja Assasin.